Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

“My love isn't a weapon, it's a lifeline, reach out and take hold, and don't let go!”    -Francine Rivers, Redeeming Love

Does fear have a place in your relationship?

A few years ago I read a book that continues to be one of my favorites and whose pages have worn and torn because of the numerous times I have read it. The book is called "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. I won't go into too much detail because I would strongly suggest that you read the book for yourself, but it is based off the book of Hosea in the bible where God tells Hosea to marry a prostitute. He marries said prostitute but she continuously reverts back to her old life and runs away from him, only to have Hosea continuously chase after her and take her away from her life of sin. In Rivers' book the characters names are Michael Hosea and Angel.

A theme that I noticed in the book was the persistence, perseverance, and trust in love. To love another isn't easy and that is what this book easily points out. As much as it is wonderful to read books where romance is swift and happens in a whirlwind in which two people fall in love in a matter of days... that's not reality. Redeeming Love highlights the reality of love in that it; takes time, it is difficult, it is confusing, it is seeking the benefit of the other, it is recognizing where each other needs to be built up, it is fighting for the God that brought you two together, it is not using one another for pleasure, and it is full of persevering through all odds to strive for Heaven. Love isn't just about the kissing, dates, and romance. It's about truly sacrificing for another because you desire their happiness in their eternal home. A symbol of love shouldn't as much be of a heart, but of a cross.

Attention. Spoiler alert about to happen.
There's a part in the book where Angel is having a conversation in her head that is telling her to shrug any feelings that she may potentially have for Michael. The voice in her head is playing on every fear that she has about relationships and what she has known about them. The fear that love will use you, abuse you, and leave you.

When I read this it resonated with me. Trust me! I am not a total pessimist and I am not (nor will I ever be) a prostitute but that doesn't mean that I haven't been hurt before. I have.  
Those distant times where I felt used and hurt in the past are like tiny scars on my heart that at the first sign of trouble I feel like will happen all over again.  Even as faint as they are and how they seem barely visible, they are in fact a scar and remain in my memory. At times I, like Angel, fear that sometimes to love will lead to hurt. 

This is wrong. I cannot emphasize that enough. What I am doing is allowing fear to rule my relationship. I am allowing for a whisper in my past to hurt the person that I love because of insecurities that should be long gone. I am making him suffer because of wounds he didn't even cause! The wounds that are because of another! And I am not allowing for God to give me the confidence to know that I am worthy of a beautiful and exciting love and the man he has given me is asking me to run to him... Not away from him. How beautiful. 

Last night I ran to adoration to lay at the feet of Christ and ask for help and guidance because of this fear. This selfishness doesn't just hurt me but hurts the man I love. Opening up my bible I immediately read in Paul's second letter to the Corinthians, "So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him".
We all have a choice. We can either live in the darkness or in the light. We can either choose to love or to be fearful. Our Lord was telling me that I need to choose love.
Yes.
This choice to love comes with suffering, because it comes with the cross. But the beauty of the cross? Is that it leads to the Resurrection.


“Love is the way back into Eden. It is the way back to life.”
―Francine Rivers, Redeeming Love

To Canada with love... Oh...And Justin Bieber.

Today as I was causally browsing through my news feed on Facebook I noticed an article that caught my attention as quickly as my infatuation for the pop singer had. "Petition Passes to Deport Bieber; Moved to White House to Discuss". 100,000 signatures were signed in order for this to potentially happen?? Is this real life?

I have to be honest. In my youth I may have had a slight stage of "Bieber fever". It's true.
I was taken aback by a young kid who had busted into the entertainment industry and seemed to be on a path that showed me he was trying to change a stigma of the glitz and glam... that is known commonly as the celebrity status. I thought Justin Bieber was so cute and innocent! Plus, his Mother had been a teen mom who said 'yes' to life. I respect that immensely being the pro life advocate that I am. But as the months have worn on I can't help but be really sad as scandal after scandal seems to be tainting the image of, the once innocent and adorable, Justin Bieber.

I had hope that Justin would take the high road and become a celebrity that doesn't seek his own glory, but the glory of Him who had created him and breathed His very life into him. I know this is quite the high hopes of a puberty hitting 15 year old, but it seemed like it could actually happen! He recorded a hit song named, "pray", and was donating thousands of money to worthy causes. The thing is my brothers and sisters in Christ, without God? We are nothing. We have no status or symbol. Or we may have one that lasts a decade or so but will fade. Now... holiness. That is something that will leave a legacy. And the courage to rise to the Sainthood God has chosen for us? Irreplaceable.

The part that makes me the most sad about this discovery, isn't that Justin Bieber might get deported. Shocking? I know. The thing that upsets me is that when millions of lives are dying each day, people are rioting at the fact that Justin Bieber has broken the law but aren't outraged at the unborn lives dying minute after minute in the United States. Life. Precious and tiny lives are being taken away and some people are more willing to sign a petition booting a Canadian pop star out of the United States than a murderous act that has taken billions of lives.

Brothers and Sisters in Christ, please be courageous. I know that it isn't easy to stand for the unborn and defend the rights of those who are the tiniest among us but they are in need of our help! Our Lord has a plan for them and their lives do not end in vain, but millions of women need us! They need us to tell them "It's going to be OK", and more than that, "We are here to help". Do not be afraid!
Did you know that each time in scripture when an angel appeared the first thing they would say is, "Do not be afraid". They did this first and foremost because angels aren't chubby little babies but true divine beings- that can be very intimidating. Secondly, because anytime they came it was because there was a heavy and absolutely vital task that person was being asked to do by God. Just think of our sweet Mother! "For behold you will bear a son...." That was quite the task Our Lord had set before her! And in her response she gave Our Lord the trust that she knew He would do what was best for her and the salvation of humankind. We are called to a great task and Our Lord asks us 'do not be afraid!'. I pray that we can all be given the grace to stand when life is taken away and to be the hands of feet of Christ to those Mothers and Father's in need of love!

My challenge to you is the next time a petition to defend life comes around.... be courageous! Sign it and defend those who are innocent! Be prayer warriors for unborn! And... Instead of 'Bieber fever' let's have 'Jesus fever'. Oh yes. I said it!

I will be praying for you prayer warriors! Please do the same for me!

Top 13 of 2013

This is a little late but here's my reflection of the past year! I want to remember the top 13 things that happened in 2013...

1. I went to the happiest place on earth and worshipped the one and only God. I traveled with friends and had an unforgettable experience at the FOCUS SEEK Conference.

 

2. I became an aunt to Miles James Sebastian. He is an absolute joy in my life.

    
                                                                                   

 

3. I became a godmother to Miles James. What a serious and beautiful task this is! I am now assigned the duty to care and watch over my godson so that he will make his path towards Heaven and Our Lord. I cannot be more honored.

 

 

4. I completed my 4th and 5th semesters in college! I am now getting that much closer to my dream of inspiring and teaching kids!

5. I went to Spain on an unforgettable trip. I lived with the Servant Sisters of the Home of the Mother and was overwhelmed with Gods love and desire for me to work for His kingdom. The two weeks I spent with the Sisters was a time of prayer, reflection, and had work. I will forever be indebted to the Sisters and the lessons they taught me.

 

6. I went to Missouri and spent some much needed time with my Grandpa, Warren Wesley Willis, before he was called home to Heaven. My grandpa passed away in August after we made our trip. He was an inspiration to all of us and raised the best son who became the best dad! 

 

7. I found out that I was going to be an Aunt to another little baby in October! It was fun and exciting to find out Addie Jo was going to be an older sister! Praise God for new life!
    
                                            

8. I made the deans list for the first time. Ever. This was a shock and huge accomplishment I never thought I would ever be able to achieve! At a young age I was always the youngest sister who got the "thumbs up" instead of the A's. To be able to get passed this and achieve a goal I thought was unattainable was a wonderful surprise! 

 

9. I celebrated the life of Warren Wesley Willis with my entire family. This was a time of joy and sadness but mostly gratitude! I cannot be more thankful for my wonderful family!

 

10. I became an Aunt to Benedict Wayne Raddatz! He is such a happy and joyful little boy! My favorite moments is getting to just cuddle and allow for this tiny little man to rest in my arms. By far one of the greatest feelings in the world is holding that new little life.

 

11. People say you meet the friends you will keep for the rest of your life in college... And I have! I'm so blessed with friends who make me better and inspire me!

 

12. I turned 21 and stepped into adulthood! Don't worry!! I managed to not become an alcoholic ;) but have enjoyed a few drinks with friends and family. I also came to the realization that I'm growing up and soon I'll be stepping into the real world...

 

 

 

 13. I fell in love.  Sounds cheesy.  And took me by surprise. But I cant wait for what the next year will bring for me and my best friend.

 

                                            

Mirror Mirror | Jesus & Beauty

I am a 21 year old girl who is trying to maintain modesty in the midst of a world that is filled with models like Miley Cyrus and the Victoria Secret Fashion Show. Sometimes it feels like I'm fighting a battle I won't win. The models will always win out to be the most beautiful, endearing, and eye catching... where as I? Am just your average brunette.
The problem with this thinking is that I am giving the mirror and media way too much control over my self esteem. I am relying on them for my worth and to tell me I'm beautiful. Our worth is found in the one who gave it all. Here's a letter to reflect upon that.
_______________________________________________________________

To my sisters in Christ,

I want you to know that it isn't your hair, jewelry, clothes, or size that determines your worth. If the mirror that you look at says that you're not skinny enough, tall enough, or pretty enough, I'll let you in on a little secret... The mirror is a liar.
It took me a while to understand this because I was relying on what I was seeing in my reflection to be the sole reason for my dignity and beauty. But this is a lie.
You may desire to be sought and chased after and the easy way to see this happen would be to attract a moth to a flame, right? God created women last and why did he do this? Because we are the crown of His creation. We were made to be the most beautiful beings. I mean think about this for one moment... You look at mountains, skylines, and beautiful landscapes and see how magnificent they are! You look at them and see how massive and grand they are and think to yourself "How beautiful God made His creation". Yet when we look at ourselves in the mirror all we see are the flaws, wounds, and "mistakes" in us. The thing is that NONE of that, not even the tallest and most beautiful of mountains, can compare to the beauty that He created in you... His loving daughter.

One of the most beautiful women to ever walk this earth would have not been considered, by the worlds standards, to be 'beautiful'. Although, you ask any person about her and I am sure they would respond that she had a beauty within her that defied any worldly standards of beauty. She could catch someone's eye upon walking into a room and have others desire to mimic her.
This woman was Blessed Mother Teresa.
She was short. She wore a habit so you didn't ever see her hair. In fact, she wore the same thing everyday.
But she was so incredibly beautiful. It was the light of Christ within her and the love that she had for Him that made her soul beautiful and carried on to her outward appearance. She loved Christ with all she had and it truly showed in her appearance!

Your worth is found in Christ. When the mirror lies to you remember your beauty in the eyes of Our Lord. You are beautiful. You are irreplaceable. Your are more magnificent than the most beautiful sunsets, the largest mountains, and the rarest of jewels. Nothing God makes is a mistake or ugly! He loved you until his last breath! So my challenge? Love Him until yours.

This is dedicated specifically to my little 1 year old niece. Remember this, my love. God loves you just as you are.

Surviving the First Year in a Serious Relationship | Do's and Don'ts from a Girl Who Has Learned From Them All

When people ask how long I have been dating my boyfriend it still seems strange saying, "oh... just over a year". Silly, right? Just. Both my boyfriend and I were taken by surprise at our relationship. Even more so because to be honest? We were both pretty dang new at the whole relationship thing. I had 2 (ish) boyfriends before him and he had one girlfriend before me.
Luckily for me I have 3 older sisters, two who are now married and the other in a serious relationship, that I could look to for an idea of how successful relationships work. Along with two loving parents who now celebrate 29 years of blissful marriage.
Doesn't mean that it's always easy.
We still had lessons we had to learn on our own and in doing so we were able to grow significantly in our relationship. Some lessons were harder than others but overall they were all worth it because we were growing and learning together.

Here are my "Do's and Don'ts" for surviving that first year in a serious relationship:

 

Don't

 

 

1. Don't ever get tired of saying I'm sorry and I forgive you.

Sometimes our pride gets in the way and we turn to being so selfish that we aren't truly loving. We need to learn that even though its hard and we may think we are right all the time, we have to take time to forgive and say I'm sorry. To do these two things is remembering that we are human and that we aren't perfect. You will make mistakes but if we know anything from the Oh Hello's it's that, "oh the sun it does not cause us to grow, it is the rain that will strengthen your soul... it will make you whole". (I have made mistakes - The Oh Hello's)

 

2. Don't give your whole heart away right away.

Your heart should be Christ's first and He should be the one to give it away to the person He knows will protect it. The person who deserves your heart will seek Christ in order to get to know your heart even better. Especially as women emotionally chastity can be very difficult but remember to fall in love with Christ first. He will know your heart and place it in the hands of someone worthy.

 

3. Don't give your body away.

Your body is one of the most beautiful gifts that will be given to your husband (or wife), and it is for them alone to unwrap. This doesn't mean that if you have already given away a part of yourself that you can't begin again because you absolutely can! Search for the person who will fight to maintain your dignity and not want to compromise the sanctity of your soul. They won't fight to take away that which is precious but seek to protect it until the proper time.

 

4. Don't be afraid to have difficult conversations.

These are bound to happen. Communication is absolutely vital to a healthy relationship because if you clam up and don't talk about difficult matters they will begin to bottle up and since they were buried so deep the uncovering of these issues will be a painful one. If you refuse to talk about things, like I did many times, it may seem that you are simply giving up. Just as that person is fighting for you it absolutely goes both ways. Fight through the pain or discomfort of talking about difficult things because that person is worth it!

 

5, Don't use your words for anger but only for love.

What we say has a power to either destroy or build up. Be very careful and make sure that what you say is said for the betterment of your significant other, even if this means taking you time to sit and think about what you are going to say do it! Just communicate that you are trying to find the best words and they should be understanding! Communication should bring you as a couple together not tear you apart.

 

6. Don't pressure or seek to control.

There's a difference between being Mary and being Eve. What did Eve do? She controlled the situation and told Adam to eat of the fruit (granted where the heck was Adam to protect Eve from the serpent? But that's for another post). Mary on the other hand gently pointed Jesus to the time and place where he was to begin His ministry- she didn't force Him to turn the water into wine at the wedding of Canaan, but rather gave Him the opportunity to make the decision for Himself. We need to be Mary's to those we love. We shouldn't pressure them for a wedding or control everything they say or do, but rather be there for them and give them opportunities to love and learn. All of this while trusting in the wisdom and plan of Our Lord.

 

7. Don't be selfish.

This relationship is not only about you. It's about the two of you. In a marriage you won't be in it for yourself but for the other person and their pursuit for Heaven. The dating experience is an opportunity for you to practice this selflessness and seek to find ways to better your significant other while bettering yourself for the sake of that person and their salvation.

 

 

Do

 

1. Always have Christ at the center of your relationship.

This is a no brainer! Christ is the reason you are together and so He absolutely has to be included. I have found that praying together, participating in the sacraments like confession, and going to Mass together have been fruitful in good times and bad. When you make mistakes- run to the confessional! It's humbling and necessary to keep your eyes fixed on Heaven.

 





 



2. Go on adventures!
Be spontaneous! Try to do fun dates that both of you are interested in! Personally I'm a homebody who doesn't mind just hanging out and watching movies BUT it's good to go experience life and see the beauty that God created while doing it! Plus... adventure is out there! Go seek it!

3.Discern your vocation wholly and genuinely.
Before getting into any relationship at all discern whether you are called to the vocation of marriage or called to the religious/consecrated life. Please do this before because it will hopefully prevent hurt if you were to decide while in the relationship that you are called to a different vocation. If you are called to the vocation of marriage then actively pursue it in prayer and action! Girls- say yes to dates. It doesn't mean you have to marry the guy but be open to the pursuit. Guys- PURSUE girls. Be courageous.

4. Maintain good friendships with your girlfriends. (or guys with your "boys")
These special people will know whether or not the person you are with is a suitable match for you and will look out for your best interest. Along with the fact that some of them will have good advice for certain situations having had experience with them. My friends and I try to do "girls nights" every month because it allows us some time to catch up but they are also my sisters in Christ so they will keep me accountable. As well as we [women]  need to be ok with our significant others going out and being with just "the boys" for a night. It's also necessary for them and we need to be respectful of that. Have your bridesmaids before you have your groom (as Jason Evert would say).

5. Learn each other's love languages.
We all love in different ways and some times its as if we are speaking another language that is impossible to understand. Try and take the time to learn each other's 'love language' (an awesome book you should definitely read) that way you both can be loving each other and increasing your capacity to love in different ways. For example, my love language is affirmation but my boyfriends is quality time, so I still give him words of affirmation (because that's how I feel loved) but I also try to spend a lot more quality time with him (how he feels loved). This will help you both learn more about each other in the process.

6. Be a good listener.
There are some days where one of you will just need to listen. Be there for one another and don't try to be a "fixer" but simply listen and love. Obviously unless it is a problem that needs to be resolved between the two of you then talk it out. Otherwise just listen and allow them to vent to you. This is one part of being "best friends" with your boyfriend or girlfriend.

7. Finally always... always... have a grateful heart.
It's not going to be easy. This relationship will have its difficult moments (this will continue in marriage as I've been told) but that doesn't mean it won't be worth it. God put this person in your life for a purpose. Always be grateful for the gift God has sent to you, because in all honesty? He didn't have to. Somehow in all of His wisdom He knew that in some way you needed this person to grow and learn. Take every moment to love, laugh, and give. You won't go wrong.

 

 

One year down, many more to go! Please pray for us!

True Love | Daddy Edition

Following my previous post about my Mom, I have decided to also write about the first man I ever loved, my Daddy. Wayne Willis.

A few years ago my family and I were gathered around the table enjoying a delicious breakfast (at Village Inn) to celebrate my Daddy on Father's Day. I had the 'brilliant' idea that we could all go in a circle and talk about our favorite memory with our Dad.
Yes. This was a terrible idea.
I live with 5 women. Wait...  let me correct myself... I live with 5 very emotional women.
None of us could make it through our memories without breaking down in tears.
What made us cry wasn't just the hormones (I know that comes as a shock) but it was because Daddy's role in our lives was more than just being a financial teacher, but he showed us the love of a Father and taught us how firm love...is always true love.

What do I mean by firm love?
Firm love strengthens you. It's the love that is both merciful and just. It's the love that will sometimes be hard on you, but only to make you better. It's the kind of love that pushes you to respect your own dignity, even if it's difficult to hear. It's the kind of love that pushes you to practice what you preach. Finally, its the kind of love that doesn't stop making sacrifices.

My Dad loves me with a firm love.
In the bear hugs I would receive when I was little and my Dad would come home from work.
When I danced the father-daughter dance with him at my Quincenera and he had to tighten his grip to make sure I was following him.
And when I came home for the first time after having left for college and he held me a little tighter.

My Dad's love is also firm in that he never hesitates to say I love you.
His love is firm when he makes sure that what we wear accurately reflects our dignity and ensures our own desire for modesty.
His love is firm when he teaches us about automobiles and how to fix our own problems.
His love is firm in pushing us and allowing us to receive a higher education.
His love is firm when he discusses budgeting and finances.
Ultimately, his love is firm in that he loves us too much to keep us where we are at.

All of those things are qualities that have ultimately led to my deeper understanding of God the Father.
Our Lord loves us with a firm love that requires both justice and mercy. When we fall and make mistakes He is there to be just, but to do it all out of love. It always helps when I approach my prayer with God the Father the same way I would approach any conversation I would have with my Dad. Even in the little things by called God an endearing name like "Daddy".

No matter how old I get I will always be "daddy's baby girl". Even the inevitable day when he walks me down the aisle he won't be walking me down to "give me away" but will be entrusting my heart, that he had cherished first, to another. This is the greatest lesson I ever learned from the man I loved first.... that selfish love- isn't love at all. It is the giving of self in the big and little things that is love. True selfless love is the firm love that builds a family. This is evident in God the Father who sent His only son to die on a cross.

(Just like my previous post)
Hug your Dad. Recognize the firms arms around you.
Recognize that these are the arms that held you when you were a baby, the ones that held you in joy and in sadness, and the ones that worked day and night to provide for you.
A Father's arms went so far as to lay outstretched on a tree and die for the sake of your soul. Therefore, if your Father is no longer here on earth or has not taken his role of Fatherhood seriously, develop your relationship with Our Father in Heaven.

Thank you Wayne Willis for being a prime example of the quote by St. Thomas Aquinas... "Give expecting nothing thereof."

You will always be the first man I ever loved.

True Love | Mama Edition

First of all thank you for your continued prayers during this time of consecration to Jesus through Mary! I know that they are really helping and I have continued my journey through these 33 days of reflection and prayer!

As I am doing this consecration I have been growing in my love and curiosity of Mary, Our Mother. In height of that I decided I would like to write a little bit about my own Mama, JoAnn Willis.
In case you all don't know her.... she's the bomb.

My Mama has been such a vital role model in my life. She has been with me through it all... I mean IT ALL.
She was there when I lost my first tooth.
She was there when I went through my very first break up.
She was there and continued to call me beautiful even though I was in middle school. And awkward.
She was there when I struggled with friends in middle school.
She was there in high school when I was going through the "difficult teen" stage.
She was there when I went on my first date... and hated it.
She was there to take me out of school to go see a movie... all while telling the school I had a dentist appointment.
She was there when I got my drivers license and drove away for the first time by myself.
She was there during every track meet- no matter the weather.
She was there when I walked on the stage to receive my diploma and graduate high school.
She was there when I packed my bags to head off to college.
She was there when I came home all giddy about a boy named Tim.
She was there in every sad and happy moment- and always there to make me laugh.
She was there when I bought my first legal drink at 21.
She continues to be there for me everyday in the simple things and the big things, you know why? As I have grown up I have realized more and more that I am becoming more like her and wanting to become more like her.

Growing up whenever I was with my Mom there would be strangers and family alike who would say, "oh you look exactly your mom". As I have gotten older the more I realize all that my Mom really does for our family and because of that the more this compliment means to me.
You talk to anyone who knows her they will say that she throws the best parties around, has a deep love for her children and grandchildren, can survive on virtually no sleep, and has a laugh that will make anyone in a room laugh with her. What they don't know, and what I sometimes forget, is how much she truly gives. My mom's day does not revolve around herself but rather those around her because she makes sure that they can live with ease and comfort.
I know that each time she see's us cry, she can see the little girl who just wanted to be picked up and cuddled by her Mom.

More than anything my Mom has taught me to love completely and expect nothing in return. She does this in her faith as she learns to love Christ more even in the midst of tragedy and heart ache. But the most selfless act that my Mom has ever done is when she gave Our Lord her children.
She told us that she realized that we were God's... Our lives would be used for His glory...
What beauty is that? The true gift of self because my Mom went through pain and discomfort to bring me into this world in order to realize that we weren't hers to keep... but God's to use.

Do me a favor.

Hug your Mom. Tight.

If your earthly Mother is no longer with us or she struggles in her role with Motherhood, look to Our Mother in Heaven. She is the model for our Mothers here on earth and begin your relationship with her. She will intercede for you to Christ- and there's not much Jesus will deny His Mother.

Shout out to Mama Mary: