Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

“My love isn't a weapon, it's a lifeline, reach out and take hold, and don't let go!”    -Francine Rivers, Redeeming Love

Does fear have a place in your relationship?

A few years ago I read a book that continues to be one of my favorites and whose pages have worn and torn because of the numerous times I have read it. The book is called "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. I won't go into too much detail because I would strongly suggest that you read the book for yourself, but it is based off the book of Hosea in the bible where God tells Hosea to marry a prostitute. He marries said prostitute but she continuously reverts back to her old life and runs away from him, only to have Hosea continuously chase after her and take her away from her life of sin. In Rivers' book the characters names are Michael Hosea and Angel.

A theme that I noticed in the book was the persistence, perseverance, and trust in love. To love another isn't easy and that is what this book easily points out. As much as it is wonderful to read books where romance is swift and happens in a whirlwind in which two people fall in love in a matter of days... that's not reality. Redeeming Love highlights the reality of love in that it; takes time, it is difficult, it is confusing, it is seeking the benefit of the other, it is recognizing where each other needs to be built up, it is fighting for the God that brought you two together, it is not using one another for pleasure, and it is full of persevering through all odds to strive for Heaven. Love isn't just about the kissing, dates, and romance. It's about truly sacrificing for another because you desire their happiness in their eternal home. A symbol of love shouldn't as much be of a heart, but of a cross.

Attention. Spoiler alert about to happen.
There's a part in the book where Angel is having a conversation in her head that is telling her to shrug any feelings that she may potentially have for Michael. The voice in her head is playing on every fear that she has about relationships and what she has known about them. The fear that love will use you, abuse you, and leave you.

When I read this it resonated with me. Trust me! I am not a total pessimist and I am not (nor will I ever be) a prostitute but that doesn't mean that I haven't been hurt before. I have.  
Those distant times where I felt used and hurt in the past are like tiny scars on my heart that at the first sign of trouble I feel like will happen all over again.  Even as faint as they are and how they seem barely visible, they are in fact a scar and remain in my memory. At times I, like Angel, fear that sometimes to love will lead to hurt. 

This is wrong. I cannot emphasize that enough. What I am doing is allowing fear to rule my relationship. I am allowing for a whisper in my past to hurt the person that I love because of insecurities that should be long gone. I am making him suffer because of wounds he didn't even cause! The wounds that are because of another! And I am not allowing for God to give me the confidence to know that I am worthy of a beautiful and exciting love and the man he has given me is asking me to run to him... Not away from him. How beautiful. 

Last night I ran to adoration to lay at the feet of Christ and ask for help and guidance because of this fear. This selfishness doesn't just hurt me but hurts the man I love. Opening up my bible I immediately read in Paul's second letter to the Corinthians, "So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him".
We all have a choice. We can either live in the darkness or in the light. We can either choose to love or to be fearful. Our Lord was telling me that I need to choose love.
Yes.
This choice to love comes with suffering, because it comes with the cross. But the beauty of the cross? Is that it leads to the Resurrection.


“Love is the way back into Eden. It is the way back to life.”
―Francine Rivers, Redeeming Love